If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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