I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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