Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
