I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Did I show you my penis last night?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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