She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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