I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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