Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
