Non-Jews are for practice
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
