If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and she was petting her beer can
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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