i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
