I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
