that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
