does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
