So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
