she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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