i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude i'm inner monologue high
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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