I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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