U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize