what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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