i don't like sucking hair
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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