they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
