drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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