I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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