Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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