I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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