We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
