You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
