I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
