Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
