please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize