in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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