he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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