Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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