do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
dude. I can hear the air.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
