Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You may now shotgun with the bride
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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