Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
