it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
