He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
