Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
