My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my poor anus
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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