Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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