after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize