pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
