; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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