Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
