I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to calm my uterus...
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