remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
third nipple confirmed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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