sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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