Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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