I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
