Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it hurts more in the daytime
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
