I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
