There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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