Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
