Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
