i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Randomize
