shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
