Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
