He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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