Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
