After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
