My nipple is on Facebook.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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