I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
