we're blogging at a bar
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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