I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
