i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
40s are totally the cure
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
