I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
